Simply Better Living

Why moving abroad means more than changing your address. When Spain played France in the recent World Cup semi-final, I had a choice to make. Living in Torremolinos, I could easily have watched the match in one of the many British or Irish bars, surrounded by people speaking English. It would have been familiar, comfortable and effortless. Instead, my husband and I deliberately chose a small bar filled almost entirely with Spanish supporters. For the first few minutes I wondered if we'd made the right decision. Before long, the group sitting at the next table spotted my football shirt. With great enthusiasm — and even greater amusement — they explained that I was wearing entirely the wrong jersey for the occasion. There was plenty of laughter, a little gentle teasing, and then something rather unexpected happened. During half-time they bought us a drink. By the final whistle, after Spain's victory, they invited us to celebrate with them. We had arrived as strangers. We left fee...

What nobody tells you about homesickness.    If you've been following this series, you'll know that we've already talked about starting over, learning new languages and building a life rather than simply planning a move. There's one part of moving abroad, however, that almost nobody prepares you for. Homesickness. Not the dramatic kind you see in films. The quiet, unexpected kind. The kind that sneaks up on you when you're least expecting it. Mine arrived one ordinary evening in Berlin. After a long day at work, I came home tired and hungry. Without really thinking about it, I suddenly found myself craving my favourite comfort food from childhood. Baked beans on toast. Not just any baked beans on toast. Toast spread generously with Marmite, topped with a slice of mature Cheddar cheese, and then covered with hot baked beans. To most of the world, that probably sounds completely ridiculous. To me, it tasted like home. There was just one problem. Back in...

Why learning the language is about far more than words.   If you've been following this series, you'll know that we've already looked at three important lessons about moving abroad. First, don't be afraid to start over. Second, remember that wherever you go, you take yourself with you. Third, don't just plan the move—plan the life that begins afterwards. That naturally brings us to one of the biggest myths about moving abroad. Most people think learning the language is mainly about communication, and that is if they don't find excuses for not learning it. It isn't. It's about understanding another way of seeing the world. I was reminded of that recently while selling some furniture from our apartment in Berlin before moving permanently to Spain. Among the items was a simple laundry basket. A gentleman—let's call him Lars—contacted me online. His German was impeccable. So was mine. He immediately agreed to pay the full asking price withou...

The first thing most people get wrong about moving abroad.    If you've read my last two articles, you'll know that this short series is really about starting over . Sometimes that means changing careers. Sometimes it means changing relationships. Sometimes it means questioning assumptions you've lived with for years. And sometimes it means moving to another country. Having now lived in Britain, Germany and Spain, I've discovered that one of the biggest mistakes people make isn't choosing the wrong country. It's expecting the move itself to do most of the work. Sixteen years ago, my wife and I packed up our lives, sold our house, and moved to Berlin with our four children. Like most people planning a move abroad, I spent months thinking about practicalities. Where would we live? Could we find work? How difficult would the paperwork be? How quickly would my family learn German? Looking back, none of those turned out to be the greatest challenge. The biggest chall...