You Don’t Know Yet Whether This Is Good or Bad

Staying positive in the light of life's events

 Something goes wrong.

We lose a job. A relationship ends. A flight is cancelled. We don’t get the house we wanted. An illness or injury interrupts our plans.

And almost immediately, we give the event a label:

Bad.

Sometimes the opposite happens. We receive unexpected money. We get the promotion. We meet somebody new. An opportunity suddenly appears.

Good.

But there is an old Chinese parable that suggests we might be a little too quick with our labels.

A farmer owned a valuable horse.

One day, the horse ran away.

His neighbours came to console him.

“What terrible luck,” they said.

The farmer replied:

“Maybe.”

The following day, the horse returned — and with it came several wild horses.

The neighbours were delighted.

“What wonderful luck!”

The farmer replied:

“Maybe.”

Soon afterwards, the farmer’s son tried to tame one of the wild horses. He was thrown from its back and badly injured his leg.

Again the neighbours came.

“What terrible luck.”

And again the farmer replied:

“Maybe.”

Not long afterwards, soldiers arrived in the village. A war had begun and they were taking the young men away to fight.

But when they saw the farmer’s son and his broken leg, they left him behind.

The neighbours could hardly believe his good fortune.

“What incredible luck!”

The farmer gave the same answer.

“Maybe.”

We rarely know what an event means when it happens

That, for me, is the beautiful part of this story.

The farmer is not pretending that losing a horse is pleasant.

He isn't pretending that his son's injury doesn't matter.

He is simply refusing to believe that he already knows how the story will end.

And neither do we.

Some of the things that have seemed disastrous in our lives may eventually lead us somewhere we would never otherwise have gone.

A rejection can redirect us.

A failure can teach us.

A relationship ending can make space for another life.

A missed opportunity can protect us from something we cannot yet see.

And, of course, the reverse is also true.

Something that initially looks like wonderful good fortune can bring complications we never imagined.

That doesn't mean we should become indifferent to what happens to us.

It means we might become a little less certain about what it means.

Try replacing judgement with curiosity

Perhaps there is a small habit we can learn from the farmer.

The next time something unexpected happens, instead of immediately thinking:

This is terrible.

Perhaps try:

I don't know yet.

When something wonderful happens:

This is the best thing that could possibly have happened!

Maybe:

Let's see where this leads.

That isn't pessimism.

And it isn't blind optimism.

It is something quieter and perhaps wiser.

It is accepting that our lives unfold over time — and that we usually see only one small part of the story at once.

One difficult chapter is not necessarily a bad book.

One wonderful chapter does not guarantee an easy ending.

We simply don't know yet.

And strangely enough, there can be enormous peace in admitting that.

So when life next surprises you — for better or for worse — perhaps borrow the farmer's favourite word.

Maybe.

 SIMPLY. BETTER. LIVING.

“If a problem can be solved,
what reason is there to be upset?
If there is no possible solution,
what use is there in being sad?”
— Śāntideva